The Forty Beads blog - marriage advice for couples with no intimacy in their marriage, marriage advice & help from author Carolyn Evans.

The Forty Beads Method and You

I was sitting in my hairdresser’s chair last week. Landis and I keep it real. We both know that I’m a huge pain in the ass, but then, he can be, too, so it works out. Landis and I have been round the bend and back again. Once, when I was very pregnant, he cut my hair way too short (in my estimation) and I went ape shit on him. It was ugly. To make matters worse for him, there was a bride and her mother simultaneously working him pretty good. I blame my bad behavior on hormones, but at some point, Landis had his fill. He pulled his belt from his jeans, handed it over and asked me if I’d like to whip him with it. I declined, but have always regretted that decision since I know I’ll never get that chance again.

Anyway, Landis is a creative, deep thinker. He thinks out of the box—hell I’m not even sure he’s heard about the box. So the other day while I was in his chair, he was asking me questions about The Forty Beads Method and I was telling him how grateful and excited I’ve been by the emails I’ve been getting from couples across the country telling me that the Method is absolutely transforming their marriages. What I’ve been especially struck by is how similarly positive each couples’ experience has been and at the same time, how unique each story is that they tell. I asked Landis what he thought about this and here’s what he said: “The Method is there, it’s in place and that’s great, but when you bring in the humanity—when you bring different peoples’ personalities into it, that’s when the magic happens.”

It’s so true. Women are thanking me for writing this book, and I so appreciate the lovely feedback, but to all of you who are thanking me: It’s you. All of it is you. You are the ones transforming your marriages one Bead at a time. Yay, you! And please—keep on keeping me posted! ::Carolyn

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8 Responses to The Forty Beads Method and You

  1. Pam Sissons says:

    The amazing thing about Forty Beads is that it appeals to both men AND women…my husband is reading the book now, and I just got a comment from a man to the article I did about you this morning: http://www.fiftyisthenewforty.net/life-after-50/forty-beads/ Definitely striking a chord, Carolyn!

  2. Joy says:

    I first heard and saw you on Good Morning America and it could not of come at a better time.
    My husband and I have been on the brink of unhappiness for months and the major issue is sex.
    His sex dive is 100% more then mine, and he is five years younger then me I am a stay at home mom of three small children and an MSW like you. Just the night before GMA, we were talking a about how we could communicate his needs without constantly pestering me and me shooting him down. I feel God had that segment on just for me! I ordered the book and the beads and tried to not tell him to surprise him. That lasted about 20 min. We are both anxiously awaiting the deliverly. He also felt so excited that I am making the effort to help us that we both have been more charged! I joke with him that im going to deduct the beads when they get here from all the pre bead excitment:)

    • Carolyn Evans says:

      Hey there! I don’t know how I missed your comment here, but I am so excited you’ve ordered the book and Beads! I can’t wait to hear how you like the Method. It truly is a life-changer. Will you please jump on my facebook page and let me know how the Method is working for you? And please, if you have any questions or need Beadsupport, don’t hesitate to ask! Yrs, ::Carolyn

  3. Kim says:

    Tomorrow is the day that we start beading. Ironic that I am a Beader already, I make jewelery! Gotta love it!

    • Carolyn Evans says:

      Hi Kim! I DO love it! So you’ve been making beautiful jewelry with beads for years and now you’re gonna Bead your way to a gorgeous relationship. So fun! I’d love to see your Beads–bet you put together a colorful combination! Happy Beading, Kim! And stay in touch! Yrs, ::Carolyn

  4. Kim says:

    Thanks, but I did find it and I Beaded him his gift yesterday. It took him 6 hours to put that first bead in but he bit, hook, line and sinker. He wants to add some rules maybe giving him a muligin (one for every 5th bead) just incase of a bad performance. He is starting to stragize how to use the remaining 39 beads. He is concerned what happens when they are all gone. haha He thinks I should then present them to him. ? and he gets 40 nuggets. I told him maybe I would make a necklace out of them and it would be great memories when I wore it. Thanks, we love it!

  5. Denise Thornton says:

    I’ve read the book and am intrigued, but my husband works out of town from Monday to Wednesday. It seems like that would really mess with the 24 hour thing.
    Any suggestions?

    • Carolyn Evans says:

      Hi Denise! Great to hear from you. And the good news is, I’ve got you covered, sister. There are lots of details in the book about how to work a situation like yours–for example, although “virtual Beading” is not allowed (the Bead MUST make it to the Beadcatcher!) your husband could engage in a little “Beading by proxy” where he could call or text you and ask you to drop a Bead into your Beadcatcher FOR him. That’s fun and builds the anticipation/excitement which is a big part of why the Method is so effective. Here’s the thing: life happens and every couple’s life is different. The Forty Beads Method gives you a template to prioritize the intimacy in your relationship, but you’ll get creative with it, change some rules and make up some of your own. That’s part of the fun. I hope you enjoy the Method, Denise! I’m sending tons of Bead Love your way and can almost guarantee you the best, least stressful holiday season you can remember if you get started, like today!! Yrs, ::Carolyn

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